I still have plenty of love for acorn squash--warts and all--during the shoulder season, but they don't make it very easy.

Short of using a machete, cutting through their stubborn skins is a beastly task.

Without a responsible spotter in the house (i.e., someone that a) can reach the car's pedals, and b) has the sense and a strong enough stomach to retrieve your fingertip(s) from the cutting board before driving you to the E.R.), my advice is to roast them whole first for 20 minutes in a 400 degree oven.

Once they're cool enough that you don't trade lacerations for third-degree burns, you'll be able to easily cut them in half from stem-to-end. Scoop out their seeds and then either slice the flesh into crescents or, if you're like me and appreciate getting to eat your bowl now and then, leave the halves intact.

Do score the flesh a few times with your knife if you want the butter and maple syrup that you're going to shellack them with to get the memo.

Place them, cut side up, in an oven-safe dish or on a baking sheet with a 1/4 inch of water beneath them to keep the skins from burning. Sprinkle them with salt and return them to the oven for another 40 minutes or so, occasionally basting them with their own Mrs. Butterworth-like juices.

Heap them with a grainy salad or a lentil-based one or a grain- and lentil-based one.

Or, fill them with soup and let Panera keep their gut-busting bread bowls.

Heck, you could even fill them with sautéed apples and vanilla ice cream for all I care.

You don't need a spotter for this part.